Friday, April 4, 2014
Passing Glance
I walked quickly down the hall, the sound of my heels reverberated off the yellow walls. The fear of being late propelled me forward as I rushed onward. Up ahead I could see sunlight shining through the large lobby windows. I was glad to be inside; even with the sun it was cold out and I wished I had brought my coat with me. My cotton dress and leggings were a naive display of my wish for Spring. Somewhere somebody had a radio on, but I was too focused on my goal of not being late to pay attention to the words. As I rounded the corner, I thought I saw a familiar face slumped in a chair. Bright red shoes stood opposed to the dull color of the tiles; a dirty brown bag leaned lightly against the base of the chair. Your head, if it was your head, was looking down at a bright screen in your hands. A slight buzzing in my own distracted my eyes from focusing on the face in an attempt at recognition. I looked down at my own tiny bright screen to reply to a text. Only two minutes to make it to my destination! Out of the corner of my eye I thought I saw you, if it was you, look up. I wanted to say hello, but I also didn’t. For the split second in which I thought I saw your face, I remembered that it had been a while since the last time we talked. I tried to remember the proper way to go about reestablishing a connection, but by the time I thought that maybe I would look up and wave hello, maybe even smile, I was already rounding another corner of yellow walls, blurring your face into a confused memory, the echo of my heels following close behind.
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Love this! There is so much vivid description, particularly when it comes to color and light. The words "yellow" and "bright" recur through the passage, as well as the presence of the sun, and the way it filters in through the windows. The bright screens of the phones are also a source of light. The reader acquires a sense of vagueness and obscurity emanating from the light, which perhaps blinds and distracts the narrator from obtaining a clear view of the subject in question. The eye is compromised, shifting around from various observation, but never quite zeroing in on that one person. Therefore, the narrator seems to manipulate the situation in her own mind by saying things like, "For the split second in which I thought I saw your face..." although we are not certain if she did, or if perhaps it was her imagination that filled in the gaps of the unknown. I also really like the commanding voice of the narrator - how she speaks directly to the subject although he/she cannot hear her, and how instead of saying something like, "If it was you, I wish you would have looked up," she chooses to give a more formal, curt demand: "look up." This, to me, expresses the immediacy of the situation. She is already in a hurry and does not really have time to ruminate on what she sees for too long, so everything seemingly blurs together until she must round the corner and disappear into darkness. The whole passage is extremely impressionistic because not only does it focus on capturing a particular moment, but the moment is not clearly defined or illustrated by the text - it leaves the reader wondering.
ReplyDeleteI can't tell you how much this happens to me too. But your voice and your impression of the situation adds a whole new way of looking at the situation. I also love the contrast of the dull tiled floor with the yellow walls and the red shoes. I feel like your impression of the situation starts wider, with walking down a hallway and talking about how you wish it was spring. Then, the focus gets narrower as you focus on this figure at the end of the hall, trying to figure out if it who you thought it was. It makes my mind establish the scene and then zoom in like a camera. I also really like how you started and ended with your heels clicking on the floor. It gives the impression a nice loop back into itself.
ReplyDeleteThis post was amazing. I feel it was so related able that the imagery just came along with it. The way you said everything reflects what I think Dowell would do in this situation (returning to the exercise that we did in class). The contrasting images of the colors stick out the most to me, imagery wise, be cause its so drastic, the dull tile compared to the bright red shoes. As Beth said, I also loved that you started and ended with the clicking of your heels, it brings everything around full circle.
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