As I sat there, I noticed the way the
water dripped down the window: slow, almost like it was crawling, to the
bottom. By the looks of it, I thought it was cool outside. The dark gray clouds
layered the sky in a way that made them look like pillows. The rain fell so
fast, it was as if it was running away from the floating, grey pillows. The
wind was dancing through the trees, making them sway from right to left and
then left to right. There was a squirrel that stopped right in front of the
window, on the wet, gloomy sidewalk and, for a moment, seemed to watch me
watching him. His fur was a dusky, dirty brown that resembled no other color
that I had seen before. His tail was fluffed out, like the way a cat’s tail
does when it is mad or playful. He eyes were small and looked like two black
marbles. His fur looked soft, but I wouldn't know, I was on the wrong side of
the window.
This description technique produced a really beautiful result. I can tell you are going from general to specific like Ford pointed out Impressionists do. We get a wide angle view of the window and then narrow down further and further until we have a close up of this squirrel outside your window. I kind of got chills from this. And I can really picture what you are seeing and telling me about, but it is vague enough to not be scientific and perfect, like when you described the color of the squirrel's fur.
ReplyDeleteI love love love this post. Although it's very short you get a lot of details, and visual imagery from it. Some of the impressionistic features i take from this post is how you describe the weather, and your visual of outside, and the best part of this post your description of the animal. It was just enough description to get your point across. When you look out of the windows you see the many details, but sometimes it's that one thing that catches your eye, and that's what you pay the most attention to.
ReplyDeleteThis description definitely paints a landscape for the readers. I like the way you use color words because it really captures the mood. This description made me feel like I was inside on a cold and gloomy day. I know that feeling so well, and you really captured it here.
ReplyDelete