Similar to Jane I have always had a very strong sense of self. I have always tried to remain as true to myself as possible and as soon as someone becomes harmful to my sense of self or asks me to deviate or change myself in a way I don’t want to, I generally decide to end our relationship.
An example of this occurred in high school between myself and one of my best friends. We had been friends for a very long time and we had been through a lot together. However, eventually my friend began to hang out with what I considered to be a bad crowd. When my friend began to hang out with them she went through a total change. It was impossible for me to understand how she could lose touch with who she was just so that she could fit in with this group of people that i didn’t even like, and she didn’t understand why I didn’t want to change alongside her so that I could fit in with them as well. Neither of us were capable of making a compromise and our friendship ended. I remember it being a very hard and challenging experience, but I’ve always personally felt that I’d rather be alone and true to myself than have a bunch of friends but be dishonest to myself.
However, several years later we ended up reconnecting and we learned that we had both changed. She had left that group of people behind and had started on a much straighter path and I had learned to become less strict and absolute in my judgements. Together we were able to leave the past in the past and now our friendship is stronger than ever.
I think that Jane would have made the same decisions that I made. When Jane was young she had a firm idea of herself. Obviously she gets very angry at Mrs. Reed for lying about her character to Mr. Brocklehurst and she declares that she will never think nicely of Mrs. Reed again. Jane maintains this sense of self throughout the book even when it is challenged by someone she loves very deeply, Mr. Rochester. She obviously has a very strong relationship with Mr. Rochester, but when he asks her to go against her sense of self and live with him even though he already has a wife, she is able to say no and walk away. However, just because Jane is so strict with her self respect that does not mean she is incapable of reconciliation or forgiveness. When Mrs. Reed is dying Jane is able to express forgiveness for the way Mrs. Reed treated her and she even apologizes for her outburst as a child. Similarly, at the end of the novel when Jane and Mr. Rochester are reunited she is able to put aside what he did to her and they ultimately end up happily married. Jane starts out with an extremely rigid sense of self, and even though that sense of self does not change over the course of the book, Jane herself becomes a little less strict in her beliefs and judgements and she is able to put the wrongs of the past behind her in order to positively move forward. Though I probably would not be able to forgive a man who lied about hiding his wife in the attic, I have always admired Jane’s ability to remain true to herself while also being willing to reevaluate her former judgements when the opportunities arise.
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