What Would John Dowell Do: Establishing Meaningful Connections

John Dowell is a man characterized by his penchant for thought and analysis, yet innately bound to his trusting, idealistic nature. He appears to lack the necessary social mechanisms that would provide him with the ability to discern the deceptive nature of others, and to truly connect with others in a meaningful way. In reading Dowell's humble lamentations, one regards his isolated role amidst all that is occurring around him. Although he seems an intelligent, observant man, his detachment is magnified in many ways. For one, Dowell seems to project his good nature onto others as can be seen by his often sympathetic demeanor towards characters who have wronged him, particularly Edward. Dowell lacks a certain social presence, perhaps concerning himself with his personal reality more so than that of the one outside of him. In this aspect, John Dowell and Jane Eyre share some similarities, although it can be said that Dowell never truly found a way in which to reconcile himself with the external world, as Jane did.

John Dowell perhaps wanted to believe that life could proceed in an orderly, anticipated way. He perhaps believed that those around him thought the same way he did, which detracted from his ability to see the truth. In many ways, I feel that I am like John Dowell because I strive for meaningful connections only to too often realize that I have become deluded by an idea or image in my head, rather than facing an objective reality. A situation I have experienced that pertains to such, revolves largely around the music I listen to (metal) and befriending individuals in the local scene. Dowell often seems to fall into the habit of likening himself to his peers. Due to social class and standing, Dowell views Edward and Leonora as equals, and furthermore, friends. But to base a friendship on such things is presumptuous. Often times, I cannot escape the mentality that because people listen to the same music as me, share my interests, and resemble me - they must be genuine, they must be "one of my kind." But as one soon will find, this is not always the case. I still feel as though I have struggled to establish meaningful connections with others in life, both in the music scene and outside of it. If John Dowell was in my situation, I doubt he would act much differently. Surely his past experiences, like mine, would make him all the more wary, but I also think that he retains an undying ember of hope in the face of humankind.

I do, too.

What Would John Dowell Do?

The issue I presented in the What Would Jane Do blog post was an issue I have been having with my honors senior thesis. I am overwhelmed with the amount of work and can barely find a place to start working on it.

Based on the novel, I don't think John Dowell would have a problem with this amount of work as far as story telling goes. Since my thesis is a creative work (an excerpt of a novel), he would excel in this matter. The whole novel is an ongoing story telling in which it feels like he is having a conversation with the reader. For example, in the beginning of the novel he says "This is, I believe, a state of things only possible with English people of whom, till to-day, when I sit down to puzzle out what I know of this sad affair, I knew nothing whatever" (7). In this way, the point of view (1st person) and the reflective manner of the text sounds very conversational and easy, like he is telling a story. In addition, the length of the story proves that he would have no problem getting something on paper the way I am. I think his problem would be more in organizing the story. In the novel, he jumps from one scene to the other with little explanation, or sometimes little connection apparent to me, and the story seems jumbled but that is how he is making sense of things. For example, in the first chapter, we learn about how his wife had died and he just found out that she was having an affair with Captain Ashburnham. However, we don't hear of instances when it could have been possible for the infidelity to have occurred until later in the text in the midst of him telling other stories, like the one about Mrs. Maidan.

WWJDD

 In my fiction workshop class in the beginning of the semester, my professor asked the class, “What motivates us to do what we do? Why do we do the things we do?” Someone said inertia. Their preface was that an object at rest tends to stay at rest while an object in motion tends to stay in motion, and that the same scientific theory can be applied to people. I thought of the days in high school when I aimlessly sat in science class and was more engaged with the tone and animation of the teacher than the material.

This idea of human inertia got me thinking, though; I can’t help but wonder if we do everything we do because we have always done it. What if you don’t really like the things you like because of you own choice, what if it’s only because it’s what was introduced to you first?

I think John Dowell is a prime example of this idea. While he does have good intentions and is very tolerant in the beginning of the novel, he puts a lot of faith in others and accepts that people are as they appear to be. He doesn’t have a real reason for doing so, it’s just in his nature, and I think this is why he was so blind and naive to his wife cheating on him. He’s an object in motion that stayed in motion and didn’t stop to look around until it was right in front of his face. Even then, he developed this biased perspective of people and had little basis for his judgments, much less any emotion attached to his logic or reasoning. This was him becoming an object at rest and staying at rest. My point is that he just does things to do things. He stays in one track or frame of mind because that’s what he’s decided everyone is a part of, and no one can be different or distinguished from one another.

WWJDD? - Home and School

WWJDD?

Being forced to live in a situation is hard, and it makes people think a lot about themselves and those around them. If JD was in my situation when I was 16 years old, living with people who didn’t necessarily love me or want me around, what would he do? Throughout TGS John Dowell is constantly lied to by his wife and he is oblivious to this and her actions, even when it came to her death. So, if JD was in my shoes during this situation, instead of doing what Jane would do, he would just seemingly pretend it wasn’t happening or ignore it. I would link this to him being naïve and avoidant of dealing with issues. Even if the signs are there, he won’t necessarily see them, because he’d rather see nothing because seeing nothing means nothing is wrong. As for school, if it was perceived as the right thing to do, and it was a good image, he'd go through with that as well.

WWJDD?

I definitely think John Dowell would have acted completely opposite of Jane Eyre in the scenario I described in my “WWJED?” post. In the book John seems totally incapable of noticing the things that are going on around him, things that are occurring between the people that he thinks are closest to him. One would think that John would have caught onto what his wife and Edward were doing, but obviously he does not. Therefore, I believe it’s safe to say that had John been in a similar situation as me, a situation in which one of his closest friends started hanging around people he did not like and participating in activities he did not agree with, I believe he would have turned a very blind eye and would have carried on as regularly as possible. I certainly don’t think that John ever would have confronted his friend about their behavior or that he would have been able to walk away from the friendship. Unlike Jane Eyre who sticks very rigorously to her own personal code, I think John would attempt to remain as aloof and unaware as possible. I think even if John had an idea that his friend might be spending time with people he really did not like, etc., he would just keep trying to carry on as normally as possible without saying or doing anything to actively change the situation or confront his friend. 

As I mentioned in my "WWJED?" post, I believe that because Jane was able to leave Rochester, as I was able to leave my friendship, after time passed she was able to reevaluate the situation, just as I was able to as well, and thanks to the time and distance she was able to reestablish her relationship with Rochester to create an even stronger bond than they had before, just as I was able to reestablish my friendship with my friend. Unlike Jane and myself, John remains clueless to what's happening around him and in the end things obviously do not turn out very well for everyone. I don't mean to imply that John would have been able to leave his wife and then later forgive her, because I don't agree with that, but I do think he probably would have had a happier outcome had he realized what was happening earlier on in his life and had been able to somehow remove himself from the situation before it was too late.

WW John D

In my previous post, regarding what Jane would do if she had to decide between staying and competing in a wrestling meet or go to South Carolina to see my brother graduate from basic training, I felt that Jane would agree with me in going to see my brother because family was important to both of us, her reasons stemming from the lack of actual family in her life. Now, in John Dowell's case, things become quite different, as he is a character that can be described as quite different. Throughout the novel, John Dowell does nothing it seems as he is manipulated and lied to by his own wife. His obliviousness to what's going on around him makes this a hard question to answer. But, I believe John Dowell is blindingly loyal to people as shown through the loyalty to his wife and Ashburnham, even though they were sneaking off and being together behind his back. Due to his loyalty to people, it is believed that John Dowell would, like Jane and I, go to South Carolina to see my brother Jeremy graduate from basic training. While he would be disloyal to his wrestling team, his loyalty would be shown to my brother who would be closer to him in relation, so that's why he would choose to go visit my brother and watch him graduate from basic training in South Carolina.

WWJDD.......

In my what would Jane do post I talked about the worse summer of my life, and how I was hurt by a guy that I really cared about, because of his flirtatious ways. I suggested that Jane would probably leave him, and figure out what her needs and wants are. In this situation as far as John Dowell goes I think he would be very naive to the situation. It took John nine years to figure out that his wife was involved in an affair with Edward. How could you let something like that go over your head? He actually believed that she had a heart condition, and that was the reason why they couldn't have sexual relations with one another. In a way I was a little naive to believe that a guy wouldn't flirt, so in some ways I kind of compare to John. I think Jane was more aggressive, and head strong. At times she got weak, but came to her senses a lot faster then John Dowell . During his time you would think that the man would take complete control, and be a leader that wasn't the case. We find that his wife was a manipulator, and did as she pleased which was quit unusual. 

WWJDD? - A Smelly Situation

I had a roommate, whom I'll call Avi, whose hygeine habits were a little looser than mine. She washed up every few days to every other week, usually didn't wash her hands after using the bathroom, and had a tendency to change in front of me during her time of the month. It was struggle for me to talk to her because I realized there was no nice way to tell her that she stunk without coming off as rude. But when other people complained to me about the lingering odor she left behind in a room, I eventually worked up the courage to talk to her about the situation. The conversation was a little awkward and I felt kind of guilty but I noticed she made more of an effort to keep up after herself.

Though initially I thought this situation would've been handled differently by John Dowell, I realized that I also needed prompting from other people to act. However, I was aware of the problem before my suitemates came to me. Dowell remained either in denial or completely unaware of what was going on around him.

He would've looked at whether or not Avi came from an upperclass family and if she appeared to have good morals at first. Though Dowell wouldn't acknowledge that Avi was depressed, he'd pity her for her lack of awareness of the stench she carried. That's kind of ironic since Dowell's out of the loop about a lot of the dirt his wife and Ashburnhams kicked up around him.

Dowell may also feel sympathy because Avi's a female in some sort of distress. Because of this, he'd take on the role of caretaker. He may do this by picking up her clothes, opening the window for fresh air, spray air freshener, take the trash out everyday, wipe off the dandruff and crumbs she left on the desk and drawers. Dowell may even suggest some popular soaps and lotions that he believed many females were drawn to.

If someone of higher authority suggested to Dowell or initiated in telling Avi the truth, he may follow their lead. Dowell respects and looks at class before acknowledging the actual person as a person.

WWJDD?

If John Dowell was in my situation and was betrayed by a friend, I don’t think his actions would differ very much from Jane’s or my own, but his motives would be much different. I said Jane would forgive the friend, especially when she was in her time of need. I think she would do this because she proves herself to be a very forgiving and selfless person. I think John Dowell would also forgive the friend and care for her when she needed something; however he would not necessarily do it out of the kindness of his heart. As we see through his situation with Florence and the Ashburnhams, John is pretty oblivious to certain things around him, especially when it means he has to shatter the perfect image of people he thinks highly of. He might not even let himself recognize the fact that he had been betrayed in the first place, and if he did, he would find some means to justify it.  He is always preoccupied with catering to Florence’s every need, so he would be quick to do the same with his friend. It would probably take a long time and a lot of reflection for him to recognize that his friend was in the wrong.

WWJDD?

If John Dowell was placed in my dilemma of whether to attend college at the same school as his significant other or follow his own path I believe that he would address the situation quite differently than how Jane Eyre might have, and how I personally did myself.  Throughout John Dowell's entire marriage he is being deceived by his wife.  At the same time, he is dedicating his life to taking care of her and her so-called heart condition.  He is clearly very devoted to her and their love.  Therefore, if John Dowell and his wife Florence, were placed in a similar situation I believe that John Dowell would follow Florence under any circumstances.  He would believe that they must stay together, and that his wife would need his assistance.  John Dowell believes himself to be a caretaker for his wife and therefore wherever she wants/needs to go he will make sacrifices to be there for her.  Furthermore, John Dowell, being a trustworthy and genuine character, would not want to leave his wife or hurt her by going some place other than where she was.
Jane Eyre's hypothetical decision along with my similar personal decision on this matter contrast from John Dowell because although we took into consideration our significant others needs, we still put ourselves and our lives first.  John Dowell has a hard time doing this.  He enjoys being a caretaker.  We see this with his devotion to Florence and the novel ending with him being a caretaker for Nancy.  In addition, it seems that John Dowell is very concerned with the idea of being in love and in a relationship.  He discusses the topic throughout the entire novel.  Love is the reoccurring concept that he addresses.  The fact that love is such an important topic of discussion for him leads me to believe that love would be one of the deciding factors when it came to a decision such as where to attend college.  Although college does not have much if anything to do with things such as love or relationships, when they are of importance to people they must take it into consideration.  In conclusion, it is my opinion that John Dowell would follow his significant other to the college of her choice believing it to be the best fit for him as well.

WW JANE D

In my senior year of high school, I was faced with a difficult decision: go to South Carolina to see my brother graduate from basic training or stay at school and compete in the wrestling meet that was scheduled for that week. If I went to see my brother, I would have let my wrestling team down as I would not have been there for them. But, if I wrestled in the meet, I would have felt like I let my brother down as I would not have been there in South Carolina, at Fort Jackson, to watch his graduation and to spend Family Day with him. I ended up going to see my brother because I had not seen him in a while and I missed him terribly. My brother and I have always been close and when he started off in the army, it was tough being without him in my everyday life. As a brother of an army soldier, I would have negative thoughts of what could happen to him throughout his time in the army, so I decided to go see him in case there were not going to be many more opportunities for me to see him. So, I let my wrestling team down initially, but it all worked out when the other team dealt with an unexpected circumstance in which they had to cancel the meet. So, in the end, I was able to see my brother without missing out on a wrestling meet.

Jane Eyre grew to be loyal to her family throughout the novel. She developed into a person who cared for the family she still had left, even if she refused to recognize them as such early on in the novel. Jane's Aunt Reed sent her off to a boarding school and Jane told her she would never call her aunt again. However, as she discovered the news of her aunt falling ill and on her death bed, Jane did not think about her decision, rapidly determining that she must go see her Aunt Reed as Bessie told Jane her aunt requested to see her. This shows loyalty to a family member and later in the novel, Jane is also loyal to family when she discovers Mary, Diana, and Mr. Rivers are in fact her cousins. When Mr. Rivers informs Jane of the amount her uncle is leaving her, twenty thousand pounds, Jane once again shows her loyalty to family by offering to split the sum four ways between her and her newly found cousins. Because of these instances of loyalty, I would think that if Jane were to have my dilemma, she would choose to go see the family member no matter what circumstance would be missed out upon her leaving. So, if Jane Eyre were in my shoes, she would have foregone the wrestling meet in order to see my brother graduate from basic training in Fort Jackson, South Carolina.

WWJD: What Would Jane Do?

Although it may have been convenient for Jane to marry St. John Rivers and accompany him to India she does not because she does not love him.  Jane is a character that stays true to herself and her beliefs throughout the entire novel.  When faced with a personal decision of my own to go to college where my high school boyfriend went or to travel my own life path, I knew I had to stay true to myself.  I had come to the conclusion that I was not in love and therefore should not follow his footsteps.  It would have been convenient for me to go where I knew somebody else wanted me but that would be living for others and not myself.  Jane instinctively always knows what is best for her.  I had the same situation.  Jane would have known better than to follow somebody else.  She is her own independent, strong character and therefore deserves a life of her own.  I feel the same about myself.  Therefore, I look up to Jane's character and find it easy to identify with some of the decisions she makes in the novel.  I become skeptical of her decisions to return to Mr. Rochester because I am unsure if he is worthy of Jane.  In the end, I am happy for her character and therefore sympathize with her decision to return to Rochester and believe it to be in her best interest.  In conclusion, Jane would have came to the same conclusion as myself if placed in a similar scenario. 

WWJD?

Recently, I was faced with the issue of what to do about my thesis. I was overwhelmed with the amount of work I had placed before myself and the issue of how to go about communicating with my thesis director. I believe, in my situation, that Jane would focus all of her energy into that one project. She seems to focus on one particular issue at a time in her life, like with Mr. Rochester. She went on for chapters about how she felt about him and trying to get herself to not love him. During that time, she did not focus on much else. She knew she could not deny that she was in love with him no matter how bad for her he seemed. Even throughout the chapter where the company plays charades she says that it doesn't matter to her what the other group was doing for their turn; she only had eyes to look at Mr. Rochester.

I admire her focus and wish that I had that courage, determination, and knowledge of myself. She seems to be so sure of everything she does, only occasionally having doubts and not even acting on them. An example of this is when she realized her feelings for Mr. Rochester and thought about leaving. She cut clippings of advertisements looking for teachers for their children. But she never told anyone. She kept it to herself and did not act on it. Therefore, she showed courage in sticking through the awkward times. She showed her determination not to let Mr. Rochester and her feelings get in the way of her comfortable situation of living and with Adele. And she knew that things would work themselves out in the end.

WWJD: Staying True to Yourself

Similar to Jane I have always had a very strong sense of self. I have always tried to remain as true to myself as possible and as soon as someone becomes harmful to my sense of self or asks me to deviate or change myself in a way I don’t want to, I generally decide to end our relationship.

An example of this occurred in high school between myself and one of my best friends. We had been friends for a very long time and we had been through a lot together. However, eventually my friend began to hang out with what I considered to be a bad crowd. When my friend began to hang out with them she went through a total change. It was impossible for me to understand how she could lose touch with who she was just so that she could fit in with this group of people that i didn’t even like, and she didn’t understand why I didn’t want to change alongside her so that I could fit in with them as well. Neither of us were capable of making a compromise and our friendship ended. I remember it being a very hard and challenging experience, but I’ve always personally felt that I’d rather be alone and true to myself than have a bunch of friends but be dishonest to myself. 
However, several years later we ended up reconnecting and we learned that we had both changed. She had left that group of people behind and had started on a much straighter path and I had learned to become less strict and absolute in my judgements. Together we were able to leave the past in the past and now our friendship is stronger than ever.

I think that Jane would have made the same decisions that I made. When Jane was young she had a firm idea of herself. Obviously she gets very angry at Mrs. Reed for lying about her character to Mr. Brocklehurst and she declares that she will never think nicely of Mrs. Reed again. Jane maintains this sense of self throughout the book even when it is challenged by someone she loves very deeply, Mr. Rochester. She obviously has a very strong relationship with Mr. Rochester, but when he asks her to go against her sense of self and live with him even though he already has a wife, she is able to say no and walk away. However, just because Jane is so strict with her self respect that does not mean she is incapable of reconciliation or forgiveness. When Mrs. Reed is dying Jane is able to express forgiveness for the way Mrs. Reed treated her and she even apologizes for her outburst as a child. Similarly, at the end of the novel when Jane and Mr. Rochester are reunited she is able to put aside what he did to her and they ultimately end up happily married. Jane starts out with an extremely rigid sense of self, and even though that sense of self does not change over the course of the book, Jane herself becomes a little less strict in her beliefs and judgements and she  is able to put the wrongs of the past behind her in order to positively move forward. Though I probably would not be able to forgive a man who lied about hiding his wife in the attic, I have always admired Jane’s ability to remain true to herself while also being willing to reevaluate her former judgements when the opportunities arise.

What would Jane do: Home and School

What would Jane do?

When I was 16, events out of my control, I was forced to leave home. It’s not that my parents were dead, which, even though a dread the thought, maybe would have been easier if they were. My parents were divorced and involved with the wrong crowds and the wrong substances. When I was young, 9-10 years old, I noticed a change in my mother. When she became that other person, her entire entity was gone. Her moods were erratic and her behavior was strange and uncontrollable. She would get verbally and mentally abusive and shunned and push me away from my sisters and the rest of my family (all because I had a different father than my older siblings) the way that Jane is pushed away from her cousins. I fell into my school work, and I have stayed there since, focusing on what makes me happy. 

When my mother kicked me out, my relief was school and finding my own home, my own place to be. Similar to how Jane found her own place in her new school. Did either of us really want to be where we were? Probably not, but we stuck through it and moved on. What would Jane have done in my situation? The best that she could to keep herself motivated to move on.  Throughout the entire book, Jane struggles with finding and balancing the different aspects of herself and of her life, ultimately she chose to do something that makes her the happiest, and that was marrying someone she knew she loved and someone she knew loved her. For me, it was making everything my own. 

What Would Jane Do?

Like Jane Eyre, I have gone through many experiences where I have forgiven those who have wronged me. One time one of my closest friends broke an important promise that had some distressing consequences for me, and I was left in a very difficult position. She apologized and admitted that she was in the wrong, but I was so mad that I thought our friendship was over forever. I’m usually a forgiving person, but this situation was unique, and I didn’t think that I had it in me this time. In fact, a part of me wanted some sort of revenge.

A while later, my friend went through some unrelated things that l knew were very difficult for her, and I knew she needed a friend more than ever. I realized that my desire for her to be happy overpowered my anger and disappointment, and I was able to forgive her, although I stood my ground about the situation. This reminds me of when Jane returned to Gateshead to see her dying aunt. Even after all Ms. Reed had done to her as a child, Jane came to her when she was vulnerable, and she tried to comfort her rather than rub salt in her wounds. Jane was still sure about the fact that her aunt was unfair to her, but she was able to forgive her and move on. She actually pitied her aunt, and wanted her to find solace. I think Jane would have done the same thing if she were in my position because we see her constantly forgiving, not only with her family, but with Rochester as well. She is definitely a very forgiving and selfless character.

"What Would Jane Do"

The summer of 2013 was one of the worse summers I've ever experienced. I met a guy, and he had me at hello. He was charming, funny, goofy, aggressive, flirtatious, and cute. We talked one day and ended up exchanging numbers through a good friend of mines. I didn't know that this would be the start of depression for me. After we exchanged numbers we talked on the phone a couple times, and became very acquainted with one another. Our first date was amazing, and everything was going good until he started flirting with other girls. My feelings were very invested in him, but I guess his feelings for me weren't the same. I would notice him flirting with girls, and I would get really upset to the point where I wasn't eating. This was the start of my depression. My attitude began to change, and any time I seen him flirting with someone else it made me sick to my stomach. I was losing weight, and just wasn't myself. I was never raised to be stressed about  a guy. My mom raised me to always love my self, and that guys always came last. I should have listened to her, because now I'm depressed and I cant really talk to anyone, because I'm afraid of being judged. One day I decided that I wasn't going to deal with it anymore. I had to realize that a guy is going to be a guy, and flirting is in their nature. Instead of leaving him I expressed to him how I felt, and we've been working it out. Iv'e never been really serious with a guy until him, and this has allowed me to mature in so many ways. I've learned to always love and put myself first. Never let a guy see that your weak, and in relationships you have to communicate for things to work out.

In this situation I think Jane would've left . After Jane found out about Rochester's second wife she was in great distress, and decided to leave him for a while. She had to figure out what she wanted, and how to deal with the situation at hand. Sometimes you have to remove yourself from a situation to realize what your needs and wants are.In order to be with somebody you have to know who you are as a person, and live out your dreams. I believe that's what Jane did. She knew that marrying St. John wasn't the ideal thing for her to do, so she went back to the only man that ever loved her.

Opposing Ideals and the Quest for Self-Reconciliation

As others have similarly expressed, I harbor a sense of anxiety regarding my future. I consider myself an extremist, treading the fine line of wanting everything and wanting nothing at all. Many of my beliefs and yearnings are seemingly contradictory: on one hand, I desire stability and security; on the other, unadulterated freedom and expression. My primary conflict entails reconciling the ideals in my mind/reality with those of the external world. This is the quandary I believe Jane likewise endured. She desires contradictory things, a concept reflected in her internal banter, as though she is in fact, arguing with herself. One such time is when she cries, "Let me be torn away! Let another help me!" only to respond with, "No, you shall tear yourself away. None shall help you." This internal conflict poses a pertinent question: how can a true individual exist in a social realm that is designed to suppress and assimilate? Surely it is maddening to know that the tether of individuality only extends so far, that free thought is only as free as the deciders have decided it should be.

Society compels an individual to choose. Society compels an individual to simplify. Choose one path or choose the other, but choosing both would be a failure of logic. Existential philosophy seeks a resolution to this predicament, and perhaps the most sensible of all is Kierkegaard's admonishment, "I see it all perfectly; there are two possible situations - one can either do this or that. My honest opinion and my friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it - you will regret both." Jane, an idealist much like myself, longs to reconcile many different paths into one, but society will not allow it. Jane admits to many "fluctuations of feeling" which cause her to seem indecisive and confused - but is she? Or is it the world itself that is indecisive and confused, so cold and callous to the vibrancy of a mind like her own? In some sense, Jane wishes to live a life of virtue, meaning, independence, and self-sufficiency. In another, she wishes to fulfill her natural role as a woman, wife, and mother in society. Neither of these options will grant her true satisfaction and peace of mind.

Likewise, I feel the weight of knowing that whatever I choose will not satisfy me, as it would involve concessions and compromises. I know that the reality inside my mind will never coincide with the reality beyond me. Some choices I find myself faced with are looking the way I want / having tattoos and procuring a well paying but more importantly: meaningful job. Would I be happy with a job that insisted I change or conceal myself as though my appearance detracts from my skills? Certainly not. Furthermore, would I be happy at any job that entailed rigid social hierarchy and organization? Not likely. What then, becomes my option other than an enormous gamble - frantically scrawling away, penniless and perceivably unsuccessful with all but fleeting hopes of "making it" as a writer? My writer friends sympathize in their dead end jobs, chided for not pursuing something more practical. Perhaps it was this rejection Jane feared - the way in which she felt she had "betrayed her master" and so too, the society that bore her. In my situation, I believe Jane would gravitate toward whatever option allowed the greatest prospect of individuality. In a modern context, Jane would have had more opportunities to pursue her own path in life and perhaps she would have made haste of these. At the same time, however, one sees that by the end of the novel, Jane has found a way to rationalize her decision to marry. There are several ways that this can be interpreted - that Jane either deluded herself into settling, or that she truly did find a significance and identity in doing so.

We cannot have everything in life. To those with a deep penchant for thought and reflection, the world is a boorish hell that systematically destroys every gleam of idealistic optimism. We must choose that which we feel will provide the greatest validation. Perhaps for some, it is love. For others, it is a career. Some are content to pay the bills and put food on the table, while others strive for luxurious excesses. This poignant truth recalls a poem by Edna St. Vincent Millay entitled, "Love Is Not All." "Love is not all: it is not meat nor drink, or slumber nor a roof against the rain," it begins. It goes on to say, "Yet many a man is making friends with death, even as I speak, for lack of love alone." Finally, the narrator resolves to the opinion that even if it were possible to trade memories, love, and passion for other things such as "peace or food," she would not, because the former are far more valuable to her. Although Jane may not have ended up with precisely what she wanted in life, and I may not end up with all that I want either, it would seem that passion is the driving force in any situation. As long as one retains passion, life prevails ever onward.

I see it all perfectly; there are two possible situations - one can either do this or that. My honest opinion and my friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it - you will regret both.
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Sexuality and Jane Eyre

           Similar to Jane, I seek the perfect combination of freedom and love. However, due to my sexuality and my families beliefs, that combination isn’t what I want it to be. My family was a form of imprisonment for me unfortunately. I never was able to go out or be friends with who I wanted to be friends with, sort of a mirror image of Jane with her Aunt and cousins. However, college provided me with a sense of freedom, which again is reminiscent of an early Jane. Yet when I came home from my first year I was given an ultimatum of whether I wanted to continue to attend school with my family paying but giving up my relationship with my girlfriend or moving out in order to preserve my sense of self and become disconnected from my family.

My family soon became much like St. John Rivers, offering me a way to attend school but only if I abided by their rules. If I chose then to go to school, then I was sacrificing my true feelings in a sort of imprisonment. Jane ultimately chose to be true to herself and not go with St. John Rivers and I chose the similar path of moving out and following my own instincts and passions. In the end it has worked out for me as much as it all worked out for Jane.