This scene is from Chapter 12,
starting on page 101 and going to page 109 in the Penguin edition. It is the
scene in which Louisa falls unconscious being jumped down from the Cobb during
their walk.
Henrietta carefully descended stair
by stair of the Cobb. Behind her, she could hear Louisa's giggles as
Captain Wentworth jumped her down, which was likely highly unnecessary as the
other women were having no problems descending unaided. The only reason she did
not speak of it was because her sister was happy.
Suddenly, the giggling stopped and she
heard more thuds than just the thuds of her sister’s feet safely on the stairs.
She turned around to find Louisa lifeless in Captain Wentworth’s arms. Mary
cried out that she was dead and Henrietta lost all control of her emotions. She
did not know what was happening but Anne and Captain Benwick were supporting
her between them. Words were lost to her. Everything moved in slow motion and
Anne’s calming voice broke through the murky sound of everyone taking direction
and running for help.
Workers from around the Cobb swarmed
around them but Henrietta paid them no mind. She simply wandered about with Anne
still by her side. At some point, they arrived at Captain and Mrs. Harvilles’
house and Henrietta was sat down outside of where they lay the lifeless Louisa,
for every time she saw the pallid face, she felt Louisa was dead and could not
bear the thought.
In a quick manner, almost without
her noticing, decisions were made about who would be telling their parents.
Henrietta was one of the coach’s passengers as well as Captain Wentworth and
Mary. However, when Mary heard of the plan, she caused all sort of uproar that
upset Henrietta again, as on the Cobb, and Anne replaced Mary in the coach ride
back to Uppercross.
Finally, they were seated in the
carriage and on their way back to her home. Soothing words came from the
direction of Captain Wentworth but she had no need for them. Instead, she
covered her face with her shawl and leaned into the corner of the carriage. She
hoped that the tears would stop momentarily and that sleep would soon take over…
I loved this rewrite. I think this is such an essential scene and I never thought of it from Henrietta's point of view. It was interesting the way you did it, as well. It was so emotional I felt such sympathy for her character when in the original scene, my worry was on Louisa and not really anyone else's. Anne's point of view and emotions were a clear focus, but I, personally, focused on Louisa. It was nice seeing it from Henrietta's view.
ReplyDeleteI also thought that this was a good rewrite, you did a very good job of capturing Henrietta's emotions. I think her pov is important to look at during this scene because she really is the character most intimate with Louisa. Austen expresses many times how close they are and this scene is so important to the overall novel that I think that it is very important to get Henrietta's view of it. When I originally read this scene I found myself wanting to know what Henrietta was thinking. It was good to have Anne's focus since she really was the most rational one during this event, but I definitely wanted to experience a more emotional tone from the scene, a tone that really conveyed the gravity of what occurred.
ReplyDeleteBeth, this scene seems very plausible and even-handed. That is, in a scene where emotions are running high, you make Henrietta's reactions seem legitimate and well-founded. Her sadness, fear and confusion are not self-centered, but are about genuine concern for her sister. This is a good example of representing the other good, but seemingly "run of the mill" characters in Austen's fiction (not everyone is a vain buffoon or a total saint!). You also do something crucial here, which is to continue to indicate Anne's pivotal role in the scene; Anne's care, support and clear-headedness are an interesting focal point in a disorienting scene.
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