Louisa Musgrove
fell, badly hurt, and appeared lifeless in the scene between pages 101 and 109,
which concluded Volume I. Several key characters were involved in the scene,
but I chose to write from the perspective of Captain Benwick.
Captain
Benwick notices Louisa atop the stairs and sees Captain Wentworth shaking his
head at her. “Oh no, she fell!” Captain Benwick exclaimed as Louisa jumped down
from the stairs. Captain Wentworth shouts, “Louisa’s dead!” Everybody starts
losing control, especially Henrietta, who nearly falls on the stairs if it
weren’t for Captain Benwick and Anne holding her up.
Captain
Wentworth continues to attend to the fallen Louisa, but needs assistance.
Captain Benwick leaves Anne to help Henrietta in order to attend to Louisa with
Captain Wentworth. Charles also helps both of the captains with Henrietta as
everybody is following the lead of Anne Elliot. Captain Wentworth faltered a
bit and when he neared the wall, Captain Benwick heard Captain Wentworth cry
over the fact that Louisa’s parents needed to be informed of her situation.
Then,
Captain Benwick was called upon by Anne to find a surgeon for Louisa. So,
wanting to do what Anne said because he liked her, he left Louisa in her
brother Charles’ care and set off for the town since he knew where to find a
surgeon. In a few moments, the surgeon that captain Benwick called upon showed
up and started operating on Louisa. Louisa only once opened her eyes, but it
appeared to be a sign that she was going to be able to survive this fall. With the
help from people of the likes of Captain Benwick, Captain Wentworth, and Anne,
Louisa was going to pull through.
Something I like that your rewrite does is it helps show the importance of Benwick in this scene while also highlighting the importance of Anne. I like that you expressed that he looked to her for what to do, I'm always happy to see Anne get credit she deserves because for so much of the begining of the book it's constantly described how useless her father and older sister find her. One thing I would have liked to have seen more in this rewrite though is more of an insight into Captain Benwick's thoughts through free indirect discourse. I thought you did a good job of describing everything that was happening but I did not get the same sense of intimacy with the character as I do with Anne when reading the actual text.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this rewrite because it is from Benwick. I've read another rewrite that shows this same scene from Henrietta and the drastic difference between them are amazing. It really does show how different each scene can be from a different perspective.
ReplyDeleteChris, your re-write does a good job of capturing that chaotic moment after Louisa's accident, and it makes me realize how *everyone* in that scene would have had a complicated set of emotions and priorities (how each person felt about Louisa, how they all wanted to look for others present, how they might have had anxiety about how they seemed, etc etc). This reminds us how Austen writes characters into incredibly intricate social landscapes, and that her principal characters (like Anne or Wentworth) would be operating with (and against) everyone else's drama essentially. The scene doesn't use free indirect discourse all that heavily, as it mostly narrates from the "outside," without too much elaboration on Benwick's thoughts. But you do give some good insight into those thoughts--enough to remind us of the complexity of expectations and feelings in which Austen's characters operate.
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