Thursday, February 20, 2014

Persuasion Rewrite: A Worthy Successor



Original passage (Chapter One, page 6):

Vanity was the beginning and the end of Sir Walter Elliot's character; vanity of person and of situation. He had been remarkably handsome in his youth; and, at fifty-four, was still a very fine man. Few women could think more of their personal appearance than he did, nor could the valet of any new made lord be more delighted with the place he held in society. He considered the blessing of beauty as inferior only to the blessing of a baronetcy; and the Sir Walter Elliot, who united these gifts, was the constant object of his warmest respect and devotion.


            Rewrite (Sir Walter Elliot’s perspective):

Sir Walter Elliot assured himself a suitable heir to his family name. Indeed, he proved to be a shining example of good breeding; the beauty innate to his physical form had diminished little in his fifty-four years, and it was a divine gift he greatly treasured, second only to his standing in high society. All of Somerset county recognized the place he had secured for himself - and consequently, the rest of his family - and Sir Walter reassured their gestures with the humble acknowledgement worthy to the steward of a baronetcy.
He would be free to relish the spoils of his social endeavours, had only his wife’s devotion not fallen short of its mortal boundaries, thrusting upon him the responsibility of their consummation; namely, his three daughters, and nary a son to bear witness to his family glory. Despite all the effort he had put in maintaining his reputation and the lavish displays of wealth that followed it, the Elliot name was in jeopardy of falling from its well-earned graces; after all, they could scarcely reap the benefits of his brilliance forever. Daughters were merely destined to be married off to other families, and he was but one man – however presentable.

3 comments:

  1. I like the way you describe Walter Elliot's perception of himself. We know he is vain from the narrator's description, but somehow his vanity is heightened when we hear it from his perspective... It is like it's hard to believe that anyone is actually THAT vain. One could assume that maybe the narrator is exaggerating their claim, but when you hear it from the perspective of the character, it makes it seem more believable. I also like the personal details you included about his wife. That made me think. Good job!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I really enjoyed how you made the daughters seem so disposable and almost not good enough for him. However, it's made clear that however meaningless they may be, there's still three of them and only one of him. I think this is an important point that the original narrative over looks in a way. As much as he doesn't think he needs them (with the exception of Elizabeth) he actually does need them. It's almost as if he plans to use them as a means of bartering (through marriage) to keep his social status well and alive. However, it's really evident in the original text and more so here through his more focalized point of view that he desperately wishes he had a son to carry on the family name. Well done!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Adam, you've done an amazing job of imagining Sir Walter's voice--and this line of thinking is totally believable, even next to Austen's harsh original. What this reminds me of is how, despite all of the criticism that is dished out to many of Austen's characters, the novel is still deeply entrenched in, and responsive to, the precise social and economic conditions of its day. Sir Walter may be vain, but he is also in charge of protecting a hereditary title--and in the face of a rising "self-made" upper class (like all of the naval officers). So, while Austen may disapprove of his disposition, it doesn't come out of nowhere, and Adam's imagination of Sir Walter's rationale makes that clear. Another example of how the novel develops along with an emergent middle class...

    ReplyDelete